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Thursday, April 16, 2009

Here's a something that I wish would NOT happen anyhow this year. So close your eyes as you read, Let your imagination run, and read, Phrase by Phrase.



I keep searching for my name. The list of candidates who have passed the PMR exams in class 3 Ikhlas is stapled onto the softboard n the dewan. Oh, my name, why can’t I see it? I focus my eyes onto the first name at the top of the list—Ang Wei Wen, and slowly make my way down to the last—Yip Kang Li name. Up and down I look but still no name. End of the list – I try again, and again. Slowly, unbelievably, I began to suspect the worst. I must have failed one of the examinations, hence making my overall results—a FAIL.

No, it cannot be so, there must be a mistake somewhere. Again I look and look, but to no avail. My name is simply just NOT on the bloody list.

I try to blink back hot tears. I feel dizzy. My legs tremble and feel like they’ve turned to water. I sit down on the steps nearby and put my head in my hands. It is a strange feeling having failed one of the subjects. Chinese, I guess. I cannot focus on a single thought. My mind darts from one thing to another so quickly that I feel like a pingpong ball bouncing unceasingly on the ground.

Thoughts came to me, fast and furious – what will my mum and dad say? How about my friends? How will they respond?Will they still be my friends? What will the teacher Mr. Toh and Pn. Guan and Pn. Zakiah say?A whole class of smarties, with lots of them striking FULL A’s when here I am getting &A’s and one FAIL? How about my plans for next year, shattered like glass on concrete floor? Oh my, I feel like dying! All I want is to escape from this place, far away into an abyss so deep that o would not come out again!

Someone touches my shoulder. It is Yi May. Her face displays an emotion like one who has just jumped over the moon. I try to hide my emotions, and forced a smile. Then I became aware of happy voices around me, all offering congratulations and thanks to each other. I hear girls giggling happily some distance away. Yi May’s countenance changes. She looks at me and says jokingly, “Why the woebegone face?What? You fail ah?” Somehow she has managed to sense my feelings. Oops. Or maybe not. She had only said that as a joke. I cannot find the words to answer. My throat feels dry and parched. I just looked at her stupidly.

After a few seconds, I manage to utter a word. “I failed.”. Yi May’s expression changes from joy to shock. She mumbles something like, “Oh… Sorry lah…” I just sit there lost in thought. I caught sight of SueAnne, Connie, Yi Ling and Xing Min striding towards my direction. Their happy faces, too portrays the words: YES!! STRAIGHT A’S!! I get up and just walked away, ignoring the calls of some of them. I just need to be alone lah.

For some time I sit alone wondering what to do next. IN this hour of failure, I have no friends, as in the sense like other fellow-failures. Most of them have passed and are going around patting each other on the back. I don’t see other woebegone people. They must be as dejected as I am and are hiding somewhere, away from the stares of the happy ones.

Eventually, I calmed down, and I feel a little better.The initial shock of knowing that I have failed is over. I begin to see things a little clearer. I begin to understand the cause of this sad moment. Chinese. So I realize that it is up to me to do something. Tell mom and dad and work harder for Chinese next year.

I stride quickly out of school and get into my mum’s car parked near the school gate. I open the door and get in, sit down. My mum turnes and looks at me.

Help me in chinese.











5 comments:

  1. Ellie!
    Why so emo???
    Don't be sad laa...
    Just work hard and strives for the best..
    That's all we can do..
    Others will be just God's wishes..
    And check out my blog..
    sueanne94.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. why soo emo??????????????????????
    don't worry your fickle mind, you'll pass it with flying colours ^^

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  3. OMGGGG I AM SOOO GONNA KILL YOUU >=(
    DARE YOU PUT MY PICTURE THERE!?!?

    ReplyDelete
  4. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete

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